Meaningful Conversations
Recently I had the rare opportunity to ordain as a temporary Buddhist novice nun. I took on the 10 precepts, donned brown robes, shaved my head bald, had solid food only between dawn to midday and lived in a monastery to dedicate time for practice. It was a personal exploration of what and how my mind reacts and learns in such conditions. The five weeks had been very rewarding and supportive in terms of consistent cultivation of wholesome mental qualities. Primarily, awareness and wisdom alongside confidence, effort and stability of mind.
After returning home from the monastery, the first concern was having to meet many family members, relatives and friends in conjunction with the lunar new year festivities. Having a bald head in a monastery or within the Buddhist community is a commonplace occurrence. But in worldly life, it is usually seen either as a fashion statement or a health concern. Adding salt to wound, there was the sensationalized news of Chinese speaking nationals shaven bald and kept hostage in online scam operation centres. So it was understood and expected that my shaven head may cause discomfort or concern in many.
Despite all that, I saw it as an opportunity to have meaningful exchanges of different perspectives. In learning, it becomes fun and interesting when we discover new and unfamiliar territories. For minds who are usually plagued by boredom, it should be an exciting avenue where curiosity leads to new revelations with an open-mindedness. Unfortunately, for most people, confusion with what is unfamiliar, insecurity in not knowing what to expect, unsure of how to respond or even discomfort with the judgmental thoughts streaming through, hinders the opportunity for a wiser way to relate in such a situation.
I observed how each person reacted or responded when seeing my shaven head for the first time. A few enquired in a joking manner, some commented in a careful way to not be taken negatively but mostly just kept silent or pretended they were not taken aback. Not being able to see what I look like, I tend to forget as the mind had gotten used to it. So it was interesting to watch the different ways views work in each mind and how they are expressed in what the other mind says or does.
I also observed that in our daily practice, seldom do we take the initiative or are we proactive in engaging with the unfamiliar in a way that expands our perspectives or nurtures the interest to learn more. Often the mind judges, criticizes and categorizes a situation into yes or no. Then it holds on to the positive and ignores the negative. And it just repeats the cycle over and over to no end. Rather than, breaking down the limiting barriers of just yes and no, to explore what and how else can the mind engage with the situation.
Even if it is something we think we are already familiar with, do we wish to know if there are other ways to engage with it that we have yet to discover? Or are we merely contented with our superficial knowledge of it since that has been sufficient to serve the purpose of getting what we want out of it and avoiding what we do not want? Hence, there is no need to find out more or further. Until, we have new information or evidence shared by others that there is more to it. Then only the interest piques once more.
Therefore, every moment is a golden opportunity to turn any ordinary or familiar situation into meaningful conversations. If only we understand the nature of how the mind works, the dynamics of how interest arises and what are the supportive conditions to sustain such an interest which leads to further interests. It is not to achieve any goal or to imply any preconceived notions. But simply for the sake of interest. That the mind is naturally inclined to know, learn and understand. Anything and everything. There is no need to remind ourselves to be aware because naturally when there is interest, awareness is present all the time.
I wish to invite everyone. Let us have the mind's nature of interest to observe, discover and unravel a bit more of what is happening work in a relax and easeful way. Let us acknowledge that the willingness to step back comes with uncertainties hence fear, anxiety and worry. Let us recognise that thoughts of mistakes done in the past cause shame, guilt and regret. Let us put aside what we think should or should not happen as we cannot predict the future. Let us trust that the wisdom will know what to think, say or do in a way that is useful and beneficial in the long-term in every moment. Only then can we begin to understand the true meaning of life. To learn more, join me at WISE in the upcoming events.
With joy,
Hui Yee
25 March 2025