Dancing with Defilements

For all of my life, I have been dancing with defilements. Whenever they appeared, I would step readily into their waiting, open arms.

Irritation, when someone cuts in front of me when I’m in a queue; greed, when I catch a whiff of my favourite food; nervousness when having to speak in front of a crowd; drowsiness, when attending a boring meeting; pride, when someone compliments me.

I was at the mercy of these defilements and stood no chance each time they showed up.

When these defilements appeared, I became the defilement. The thoughts filling my head and the feelings I could feel in my body were mine. It was me who was thinking those thoughts and me who was feeling those feelings and they were always oh-so-real.

Since joining WISE, I have come to redefine my relationship with defilements. I have learnt that there is a new way that I could relate to them and for the non-initiated, it may even sound radical.

I learnt that I don’t actually have to tango with them. I learnt from WISE Right Information that defilements can be looked at as just happenings that occur as an end product. It is pointless getting involved with them because they are just resultants of a set of causes of conditions. After all, what is the point of getting involved when whatever has arisen has already arisen and it cannot be otherwise?

It would be time and effort better spent to work on causes that promote wholesome resultants instead of identifying with an unwholesome already-happened arising that would just take me down the path of more suffering.

I learnt that considering defilements in this manner is Right View and stepping back to merely be an observer to learn about them is Right Attitude. Doing this consistently is what makes up the 3-Meditator’s Job or 3MJ. It is of course easier said than done because the lure of defilements is strong and falling into their arms is so familiar having danced with them countless times in the past.

Nevertheless, the 3MJ is a skill and like any skill that can be learnt, it is an ability that can be honed if one is willing to do the work. Granted it will not be easy and patience is needed to navigate the rocky path especially when one first starts the training.

In my space after becoming more familiar with recognizing the mental processes, when unpleasant happenings arose, they were accompanied by aversion and the underlying idea that it shouldn’t be like this, I should not be aversive. There was awareness but Right View and Right Attitude were missing. Because the awareness was tainted with the wrong attitude, there continued to be identification with the unpleasant arising.

But with more Right Information that continued to be drummed in, I gradually became more adept at dealing with the defilements when they arose and with time, there was gradually more acceptance that whatever arisings that appear have got nothing to do with me - I was neither the cause of it nor were they happening as an attack on me. These arisings are non-personal and there is, therefore, no need to take them personally and attach to them.

Learning the 3MJ is indisputably the most important and useful lesson I’ve had in my entire life. It has enabled me to navigate life more easefully whether at home or in the workplace. While I continue to be a work in progress in honing the skill of 3MJ, my confidence in the journey grows and I count myself so very blessed to have crossed paths with the WISE teachers and community.

If you are intrigued to learn about the 3MJ that could potentially change your life, come join WISE’s foundational course, Mindfulness a Starting Point here.

In grace, 
Joyce Ong
19 July 2022