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“I Don’t Know”
When I began my journey into meditation, I learned that its purpose is to address the defilements. Unlike the common answers we often hear—attaining peace, wisdom, detachment from worldly turmoil, and ultimately, reaching the bliss of enlightenment—the essence of meditation is sweet and simple: to address the defilements.
The Illusion of Silence
Understanding our attachment to silence and calmness can be challenging, especially given the persistent thoughts and feelings that often dominate our minds. While a quiet mind is frequently perceived as a sign of spiritual progress and stability, this is not always the case.
Sports Day and Personalness
As I was at the corner taking a break and checking the status of my mind, I came to wonder if winning and losing really existed. If they are man-made concepts, why are they man-made concepts? Can I say that winning-losing is mind-made, not a reality? If yes, how so?
Just Another Life Episode
There was a strong sense of curiosity to experiment, despite it all, in order to find out what might come out of it and also interest to try something different as an opportunity for learning if it is beneficial for my meditation practice. So I decided to just do it. What is the worst that could happen, right?
Beware and Be Aware
Nothing is the norm. There is always a story to tell – whether it is a story spun to perpetuate defilements or for us to see the reality of how our minds function. All is not what it seems and we are never upset for the reason we think it is. Every moment is the chance to make a decision.
Transcending Preferences
When I first came to understand about dualism and how this principle influences our tendency to operate from a state of preference, I was taken aback by the realization that I had been incessantly wishing for circumstances to be otherwise. I felt compelled to address this pattern. Little did I anticipate the findings that ensued.
Nature as You Have Never Known
My sense of peace was disrupted and many thoughts of how nature may be a curse popped up one after another. They range from minor inconveniences like rain or heat to catastrophic natural disasters such as tornadoes or blizzards. How quickly I changed my mind about nature being such a blessing. The contrast was like day and night.
What Does 2024 Hold?
It can hold little, much, abundant, or nothing. It all depends on which juncture your mind is at. Time forward has much to do with the mind state happening at this moment. It is a bridge to what is in store for the future. If you feel lousy now, the future may look bleak or meaningless. If you feel excited about it, surely there must be something you are looking forward to.
A White Christmas
Something special is working and I observed more intently. There was a thought that reminded how each moment lived is just a memory now. It was an understanding of how it had had to happen the way it did because of how I lived before that. It was perfect as it was and could not have been otherwise.
The Marvel of the Mind
Time to wake up friends!
It’s not to fix or solve
But in watching with fascination
The workings of the mind
With its fabrications and deceptions
Which are but nature
Displaying the wonders
Of how it works
Not good or bad
But misunderstood.
How is your day?
I've never asked what actually lies behind "How are you? How is your day?" until one day, after all the busyness, I went to the washroom to freshen up, and I asked myself "How are you, Stephanie?"
The Endless Search
When we seek the wisdom of enlightened or awakened beings, what is it truly that we are asking for? A large majority would probably reply with the desire for a way to have permanent peace, happiness, and a life without worries or fears. Do these answer the big question of what is the purpose of life? Or does it sound more like we are looking for a way out of misery and to preserve a lifestyle of comfort in order to stay happy instead?
Beyond Words
We live our lives in such an obsessive pattern that we have become zombies following the ways of the world. We chase after pleasures that give us relief and joy for a short period and then we are down in the doldrums again. Then the next seeking begins. It is madness until some wisdom pops up for us to realize that something is not right. This is where I must thank the teachers for consistently giving understanding to many minds. Without such a teaching, many would be caught in the seeking and chasing mode, from worldly to spiritual. Though in name, the latter appears more holy and superior, they are actually the same if there is no understanding of how to go about cultivating.
Facing Fear in the Face
I am no stranger to the loss of loved ones and even losing three within a span of only four years. This all-too-familiar feeling arose and it all compounded because we had witnessed the entire process. We even photographed the mother with only its head and long beak peeking out of the nest hole as it sat laying its eggs. A sense of deep loss came and I quietly mourned for a little bird family that could have been.
Instructively-taken Information
Do you notice the mind has many default systems? Besides the push and pull, liking and disliking, it also takes information as instructions. Before coming on this journey, it did not occur to me that I have always been taking information instructively. For example, when we get a new gadget or electrical appliance, we study the user manual to learn how to use it. We take it as an instruction, don’t we? Do we ask "What is this information trying to tell me?" If you do, that is truly rejoicing. By default, we will just flip through the manual, follow the instructions, and get started. I did not realize at all that the manual was actually giving me information about the item. Hence, when there is a breakdown of an item, we look at the manual to fix the problem.
Originally Creative
Since I had no aptitude for aesthetics, I grew up believing I truly lack even an ounce of creativity in this left-side dominant brain of mine. I was mostly logical, structured, and objective. I thought that only others who have the inborn talent possess, channel, and develop the intrinsic creative ability to mastery. So, that excludes me indefinitely. I took myself to be a stereotypical human duplicate at the end of a production line with no supernatural talents. My life thus far was then lived trapped in this narrow-minded lens where any consideration to attempt at being creative was shrugged off and cast away. I stamped myself as a consumer rather than a creator.
Coming closer to Home
Have you entered a forest without a proper guide? Like anyone of us, entering a dense forest like the Amazon is going to get us trapped. But for the natives knew there is a clear path that we can’t see, not to mention understand. When we explore the mind, it is a similar situation. The mind we have is like a dense forest that we can’t make out and exploring it is not as easy.
Dancing with Defilements
I was at the mercy of these defilements and stood no chance each time they showed up.
When these defilements appeared, I became the defilement. The thoughts filling my head and the feelings I could feel in my body were mine. It was me who was thinking those thoughts and me who was feeling those feelings and they were always oh-so-real.
Is Ignorance Really Bliss?
Ah, how we love a good sleep. It offers an escape from life’s problems and concerns. Better yet, if lucky enough to be graced by a pleasant dream. Such is our indulgence with sleep. Rarely do we realize that sleep puts us in a state of mindlessness. Perhaps we also indulge in this state of ignorance, not having to think.
Acceptance - Balm or Catalyst?
Many of us know that acceptance heals us. It signifies letting go. There are several lovely ways of expressing acceptance, ie. embracing what has happened; meeting the hurt without denying it; being courageous to face the truth; being open to vulnerabilities; being on friendly terms with the pain, hurt or fear.
Start your journey
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