Instructively-taken Information
Do you notice the mind has many default systems? Besides the push and pull, liking and disliking, it also takes information as instructions. Before coming on this journey, it did not occur to me that I have always been taking information instructively. For example, when we get a new gadget or electrical appliance, we study the user manual to learn how to use it. We take it as an instruction, don’t we? Do we ask "What is this information trying to tell me?" If you do, that is truly rejoicing. By default, we will just flip through the manual, follow the instructions, and get started. I did not realize at all that the manual was actually giving me information about the item. Hence, when there is a breakdown of an item, we look at the manual to fix the problem.
Translating to the practice, when I learned loving-kindness meditation, I took the information as instruction. First, I radiated loving-kindness to myself, wishing myself "May I be free from harm and danger. May I be free from physical and mental suffering. May I be well and happy." Then, I would need to extend this wish to people close to me, to acquaintances, and finally, to people whom I have conflicts with. I followed the instructions closely; I did not miss a step but it did not work! That was strange. What went wrong? It dawned on me recently – after embarking on the journey, after learning about the workings of the mind – the intention of my loving-kindness comes from wanting to fix the problem. I took the information as an instruction, wanting to get rid of anger, to get rid of unpleasant feelings, and to forgive that person whom I had a conflict with. Compounding to that, it did not occur to me at all to learn to see where the instructively-seen-information is coming from, and what it is trying to tell me.
When the information is taken as an instruction, doing and executing are its natural mode. When the information is taken as information, wanting to understand what that information is trying to tell me is its natural mode. Before coming on this journey, I never knew this way of seeing things. Therefore, although Teachers "held my hand closely", and taught me how to ask questions, the mind will take the information as instruction, rather than as information to understand the direction it tries to point me to. This cannot be helped simply because the mind can only know what it knows, it cannot know what it doesn't know.
Realising the distinction between information and instruction makes exploration of the information possible. The wish to understand, for instance – everyone is seeing it, but I am not, where is he coming from? What are you trying to convey? How can I understand this? – arises genuinely. It really appreciates the thorough explanation from various angles. When it takes information instructively, it wants to quickly get to business, it wants to quickly get to work, and it does not care if it understands the information or not. Seeing this is really funny and there are no qualms about sharing it.
If you wish to disclose the faulty default systems of the mind – which are aplenty but boil down to only one – welcome to the journey. Our already-way of doing things cannot be changed until the errors are seen and that change takes place naturally. We can then truly acknowledge "I am wrong, you are right."
In grace,
Stephanie Chua
30 Aug 2022